YOU CANNOT LEGISLATE PORN! Porn is in individual persons. Cultural skews and environmental backdrops count, but essentially porn is about arousal and not everyone is aroused by the same thing. I once read an article about a panel of people hired to identify trigger words for a nanny program meant to block porn. They found that there was hardly a word that someone had not used to theme porn, from domestic words like ironing or broomsticks to barnyard words which you can imagine for yourself. Another article interviewed professional pornographers…Read More
I am NOT a whore?
I am not a whore…. or maybe I am? I’m not 100% certain who I lost my virginity to. It was either Ben from arts camp or Stephen, a business man in town for the weekend. Ben came first but just as the shampoo substitute for lube was about to do its job his friend burst into the dorm and we very quickly stopped what we were doing. So it’s unclear. I told my first boyfriend Tom that it was him but that was 100% certainly a big fat lie.…Read More
What I Didn’t Say To You in Bed This Morning
What I didn’t say to you when you asked, this morning, in bed. When you asked what I need from relationships. When we discussed you asking me if any men had contacted me lately. When you voiced your hurt that instead of hearing you, that I was making it your problem. I finally heard you. I heard the hurt, and fear, and longing. I heard what you wanted and needed to hear, from me. You want to love me fearlessly, yet cannot in the unknowing of what I am still…Read More
Arousal NonConcordance. Roll those words around in your head a couple times, because they’re ones you should remember. Simply put, arousal nonconcordance is when your mental and genital arousal don’t line up. We’ve all had these sorts of experiences: you’re bored during sex, but your genitals are responsive. You’re turned on but for some reason, your genitals just aren’t getting the message. While these are very common issues for a lot of people, we still tend to think that there’s something “wrong” when stuff gets nonconcordant. I’m here to tell…Read More